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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Mixers, Pinatas and Other Illegal Items

Shhhh....if you're in Texas, watch your mouth or you could be arrested. No, I'm not talking about yelling fire in a public place or threatening someone. I'm talking about having a private conversation in a private home about a private matter. Whatever you do, don't tell anyone in Texas how to use a sexual aide. If someone has a beef against you, you could be talking to an undercover officer.

Passion parties...sort of like Tupperware parties for the bedroom....have become increasingly popular over the last few years. It's what some women do on girl's night out. It is also a side income for many people. Law-abiding folks engage in this, much the same way as folks bet on office pools. Yet, like betting, it can turn the average citizen into a criminal.

That's what retired schoolteacher, Joanne Webb, found out when she tried to supplement her family's income through passion parties. You see, it's ok to sell that type of stuff if you market them right. You have to say that they're for novelty purposes. If you actually explain what they're really for, you could face up to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine.....at least in Texas.

I live in Georgia where I supplement my income through selling lingerie and a few novelty items. I see nothing wrong with selling sexual toys, and I hope that statement is still considered lawful. However, I see that it's in my best interests legally to instruct women on alternative ways to use my products.

The vibrator vibrates. I think I can say that. It moves around fast and rhythmically. It has 3 speeds. It could be used as a mixer. The most popular version is the rabbit. I guess it's because it makes us women so hopping happy when our recipes turn out right.

I've been trying to figure out how to use those masks, blow-up dolls, and extra vibrators. I'm putting them in a box and labeling it Deluxe Pinata Kit.

Those flavored lubricants are great for putting on your cat's nose to help with the furballs. My cat likes grape.

Those body oils are for dry skin.

Those fur-covered handcuffs are for when Alaskan police officers want to arrest somebody.....like passion party hostesses.

Those body paints....well, sometimes all you want is a temporary tattoo.

Those edible underwear....if I stick a nutritional label on it, can I say it's junk food?

And, of course, we all know what women are after when they wear lingerie. I won't tell them how sexy their men will find them when they wear those bustiers. Instead, I'll just say, You won't look fat in this.

Hopefully, those instructions won't be offensive to law-makers.

And...lawmakers...it's offensive to me....the average citizen....to have my words this closely monitored by you. When I'm selling a taxed, non-lethal product to a person aged 18 or older, it shouldn't matter how I explain it's uses. Geez, what's so criminal about helping a couple have a good time? Bonnie and Clyde never used a vibrator to rob a bank

Edie Deween has many witty articles that she writes for her shop, Hot Stuff Leather and Lace. When you stop by, be sure to check out her sexy lingerie and clubwear( http://www.hotstuffleatherandlace.net ) while you are there.Feed

Seattle School Librarian Honored

There was a group of children in one of the Seattle schools who came up with an idea. They wanted to turn sad things into happy things, find the positive in the negative. The idea came about because when you are in the third or fourth grade, life can be sweet one moment, stale candy the next. One of the girls in the group, Amy, who just turned 11, had a beloved pet bunny named Roger who died. The loss still smarts.Through their informal club, Amy and her school pals -- Jasmine, Chloe, Hailey, Annie, Madi and Naomi -- would try to turn frowns upside down. The only question was how.

The children thought about it. They decided that books would become their tool for making a difference. School had deepened their love of books. They respected the power of words on the printed page -- no small feat in a television age. Books could offer stories with powerful messages, they knew, and such messages could inspire. The girls asked people in their neighborhoods as well as the parents of classmates to donate toasters, baby toys and whatever they could for a big garage sale the first week of June. They raised $400.

The girls bought 36 books. They already had a home for them inside their elementary school library, where one wall features a poster from the 1963 March on Washington and another bears a photo of the late Coretta Scott King. Inspired by a school librarian, they worked as a team toward a goal.

It is easy to miss such learning that occurs regularly in the public schools. Budget woes, school closures and scandals involving high school hoops teams tend to make for juicier headlines. The book club is one of those quiet stories that would have remained in the dark had something bad not happened. A month ago, Mary Cooper and her daughter Susanna Stodden went for a hike in the Mount Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest. They were found shot to death in a double slaying that convulsed the region.

The unsolved murders particularly hit home for the children at Decatur AEII Elementary School in North Seattle because Cooper was their librarian, the keeper of their stories, a smiling inspirer of their dreams. "Mary in the Library" -- as children sweetly christened her -- transformed an ordinary place into an extraordinary space.

On a recent afternoon the school's library was summertime silent. Atop a wood table sat a cardboard box that held three dozen books, including one about brainy bunnies and another about that mischievous cooking pot. These were books -- along with "Peter and the Starcatchers" and others -- that Cooper had on her wish list.

Her wish came true thanks to Amy, Jasmine, Chloe, Hailey, Annie, Madi and Naomi -- along with everyone who pitched in to help these Decatur students. After the unthinkable happened, the girls got together. They crafted designs for a bookplate that will go inside each of the new books before school starts. The plate has a sun in one corner, a moon in another. It shows an open book with its front and back covers in view. One cover says "Mary" and the other says "Cooper." Down the spine are three words: "In Memory Of. Such a worthy tribute is one way a group of dedicated children is forging lasting good out of a lingering horror.

Stacy Andell is a staff writer for Schools K-12, providing free, in-depth reports on all U.S. public and private K-12 schools. For more information on Seattle schools visit http://www.schoolsk-12.com/Washington/Seattle/index.html Airportset1

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